Today is the first day of month 3 of working at the new place. And overall, month 5 working in general. I can’t believe it’s going to be a half year since I joined the work force, and I’m already starting to feel the jadedness setting in. It even takes me a lot of effort to get out of bed nowadays, which is why I always end up being rather un-early for work. And there are times when I just can’t wait to go home.
I guess one of the problems I face is that a lot of my time is spent waiting around. Waiting for people to send me stuffs. Waiting for people to give feedback on the stuffs I’ve forwarded. And then waiting again for the people to make the necessary revisions. And then it basically goes on and on. I sometimes feel fearful finding out that this could be my life for the next couple of months or years, going through this ritual day in day out. I know this is all part of the process, where you start from the bottom doing all the “dirty work” before you climb up to the top where you’re just overseeing everything. I guess I never realised I would join this career model, seeing as one of the reasons I chose to do advertising was that I wanted to be in something a little less… traditional / formal. But I guess all big companies won’t stray too far off the beaten track. Unless it’s Google or one of those modern tech companies that “spoil” their employees.
I wonder if I made the mistake of not going after what I truly wanted, and instead chose the more complacent path of getting whatever I could get my hands on eventhough it may not ultimately be “the ONE”, but rather, the one of a few options I wouldn’t mind. I’m not saying that I totally regret whatever I’m doing now, but I guess the time has come again where I think of the question, “what if?”.
Work aside, I do enjoy working with some of the people I work with currently. My immediate team especially, who are probably the two best kinds of superiors one could ever ask for. There are other people here who give me a tough time, but I guess only in an ideal world where you’ll find everyone getting along with everyone else perfectly. So I guess I shouldn’t complain since I have the nice friendly bosses, who to some extent do balance out the difficulty I face with others. But I do understand that again I myself take some of the blame, due to my lack of socialising skills, but I guess I tend to take some time opening up to certain groups of people, and it’s also very reactive to the way these groups of people behave towards me.
Anyway, kinda sucks that my first post of 2010 is a little bit of a bummer, but on the bright side… wait, where did I put it?? =_=”