Still in a funk mood. Have started work, and it’s been alright I guess. I can’t divulge too much cos I can’t risk being Googled by colleagues or bosses and have them find my pot of gold to use against me. There are so many articles that warn people against doing things like that, and I’d like to think I’m well aware of things like that.
I guess, like everything that has been happening since I came back from Aus, all the ups and downs, from H1N1 to holidaying to job hunting to catching up with people to finding a job to being in this new uncertain place that I’ve been in, has been somewhat overwhelming, and somewhat undecided as to whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, or a nothing. We’re just all too obsessed with extremes, pitting one against the other. People who ask for both are just too greedy. 😛
My colleague (cheyyyy!), who also turns out to be my old highschool form mate (as in same form, different class), was telling us during lunch about how she chose to go to Wollongong, NSW of all places because she wanted to throw herself into an environment unlittered with Asians, specifically Malaysians. It’s not that she hates her own kind, but rather she felt that if she was going to pay so much to go overseas, might as well fully enjoy the experience as true as it possibly can, mixing with the locals and all that. Which she did, and which she enjoyed, and which she most likely wouldn’t want any different. That’s good.
I on the other hand, chose to go to Melbourne because I knew people there. And that it was an urban area. And I guess I also thought about my food options. And I figured, it’s still Australia, eventhough it’s overrun by Asians. Granted, I mixed with Asians practically the entire time I was there, but I honestly do not regret any bit of it. We were still from different backgrounds, and we had significant differences in terms of thinking process and even openness, but I guess it’s sort of like going through “challenging” times together through this racial bond that makes things a little more enjoyable and easy. Had a lot of good times, most of which I do miss every now and then when I’m feeling lonely being the only one back here.
At the end of the day, life is something you can’t undo and if you love what you’ve done, what choices you’ve made and its outcome, then that’s fantastic. If you hate it, regret the hell out of it, wishfully hoping to find an undo button hidden somewhere, there’s really nothing much you can do other than try to improve the situation. Then again, sometimes it’s not that easy. Someone posted on Facebook recently saying, “life is very simple. It’s other people who complicate it.” I guess that holds true to some extent, because people sometimes complicate our lives because we probably did the same to them. You may notice it, you may not, but I always believe what comes around goes around, karma, and all that.
I guess at the end of the day, if you can live with yourself and the choices you’ve made, and realise that it’s not THAT bad (a la schadenfreude), then sometimes all these externalities don’t really matter that much anyway because ultimately only you can make your ownself happy by changing your outlook in life, and your perspective on how marvelously shitty your life is! 😀